Ep 35 - Breaking the Silence with Perry Power

TRIGGER WARNING - SEXUAL ABUSE

In this episode of Health Hacktivators, Dr. Alka Patel speaks to Perry Power, a truly inspirational man who survived childhood abuse and has since become an advocate for supporting survivors of sexual abuse.

As the writer of the best-selling book "Breaking the Silence", a TEDx speaker, and founder of the self-publishing company "Powerful Books". Perry empowers trauma survivors to find healing and empowerment through storytelling. Perry does a lot of charity work, he co-founded a US-based charity providing free mental health care to child survivors of sexual abuse and is a serving as a trustee for a UK-based charity promoting self-reporting and justice for victims.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• What made Perry speak out about being sexually abused as child

• How Perry was able to remove the “mask” he put on to deal with his trauma

• Why Perry wrote his book

• The importance of sharing your story with others

• What to do if you are recovering from childhood trauma

Follow Perry on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamperrypower/

Find out about Perry’s publishing company, Powerful Books: https://book.iamperrypower.com/vsl-optin-159017990

For more information about this episode head to https://dralkapatel.com/podcast-health-hacktivators/

To read the blogs that accompany the show and for even more focused health hacks, head to https://dralkapatel.com/blog/

Do you know your LQ? Find out how high your lifestyle ranks. Take the LQ test to find out your score here: https://dralkapatel.com/lq-test/

Youth & Earth exclusive offers: https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=20509&awinaffid=229509&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fyouthandearth.com%2F

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Find out what most other Doctors don’t tell you, with cutting-edge health-hacktivating advice from Lifestyle Medicine Doctor, GP and Longevity Expert Dr Alka Patel.

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Podcast Transcript

PLEASE NOTE these transcripts are auto-generated and may not be wholly accurate.

Dr Alka Patel (00:01.467)

Peri Powell, welcome, welcome to the show. It's great to have you here. I'm so excited to be speaking to you today. My pleasure, my pleasure completely. Now, look, there's obviously lots of things that I want to talk about and you're an actor, right? Of course, you're very used to taking on personas and characters and new identities.

Perry Power (00:08.91)

Absolutely. I appreciate you having me on.

Perry Power (00:19.276)

Mm-hmm.

Dr Alka Patel (00:26.127)

And I know there has been a time in your life when you've taken on a new identity, but not in an acting capacity, not when you're acting a role for a stage or, or the TV or a screen, but in your real life, there was a time when I've heard you describe wearing a mask simply to hide a part of you. Are you able to share that part of your period, that time when you were hiding behind a mask?

Perry Power (00:32.123)

Mm-hmm.

Perry Power (00:50.91)

Yeah, yeah, it's I remember being in the car, my parents car, we just sold my Nan's house. She just passed away. My dad done it up, sold it and then that was in London. And then my parents are like, why let's drive out of London. It's got a new property. Because you can get a bigger bank for your buck outside of London. Right. So we then move to Bracknell and I remember driving to Bracknell. I'm in the car and I'm in my head. I'm like, right.

I'm going to a new college. Nobody knows me here. New friends, new everything. So I can be Perry Power 2.0. I can create a character that they would believe. And I'm sure if I'd be that character long enough, I end up believing it, you know, a bit of method acting in a way. And I ended up believing it myself. And the Perry Power that people met when I walked into the college room was, he was a guy that was a player that slept with loads of girls.

He didn't care about anything. He had this, I don't care attitude. He rocked up late whenever he wanted to. And, you know, he just had that persona, right? The classic, you know, if you're gonna talk American, the classic jock persona. And, but the reason why I was like that, and I created that character, is because I was the opposite of that, or I felt like I was the opposite of that in my life.

I was a guy who didn't have many friends. He was very, very shy. He was a virgin, but he didn't want to be, he wanted to talk to girls. He wanted to, you know, all these types of things. But the reason why he was like that is because he was the boy that was sexually abused as a child by his step granddad. And it happened for over a year. And when he was caught by a family member, then it was put to rest. Wasn't allowed to go around there anymore. You know, it was my step-mom that caught it happening. She took me home. She told my dad, my dad confronted me.

And then my dad then said to me, right, you're not gonna go around to your nan's house anymore, okay? You're not gonna see them again, but you don't wanna go to school, tell your friends. You don't wanna tell your biological mother about what happened. You're gonna keep this at home between the four walls of this house. We don't want a black cloud over the family name. And then I'm at a point in time when he said that I had no idea the sort of severity of what had happened. I didn't know it was abuse at that age. I thought it was my sick granddad giving me a form of love that no other family member was giving me.

Perry Power (03:12.594)

I legit thought that's what it was. And so when my dad had that reaction, I'm like, okay, what's going on there? Then I get older and I started to become a teenage boy. Sex is talked about a bit more on the TV amongst friends. Abuse is talked more, a little bit in conversation. So I knew what that was, which then forced me to reflect about what happened. And that's when the mosques started to appear because I didn't want to be that boy. Shame is the key word in all of this.

Dr Alka Patel (03:18.493)

Mm.

Perry Power (03:42.058)

Shane forced me to wear these masks and to be someone I wasn't.

Dr Alka Patel (03:46.407)

Gosh, thank you for sharing that really very honestly and very openly and very vividly as well, Perry. But let me ask you, do you feel that sort of extraction was enough? Because it sounds as though you at least got extracted from the imminent risks. You got it removed from the situation. Was that enough?

Perry Power (04:07.294)

No, because I think as Gabor Mate said it once, I think it was him that said it, that trauma isn't what happened to you, it's the silence that you live in after it's happened to you. And that's why it was enough in regards to the physical of what was happening, but as we know, it's the mental that takes play, right? That creates the most damage and that, and it was the silence.

Right, remember my dad said to me, right, you're not going to speak about this. I was 11 years old and I ended up living in silence for 12 years. You know, and it's a silence that kills people. It's a silence that leads to the coping mechanisms, that leads to depression. You know, and so in theory, no, it wasn't enough.

Dr Alka Patel (04:55.119)

And have you met others? Have you met others who you now see as wearing a mask? Because sometimes what we see of people is their outward behaviors. We didn't really see that in a working. So are you able to recognize in others this wearing of a mask? What have you noticed?

Perry Power (05:14.03)

Yeah, I mean I

Perry Power (05:19.242)

It's definitely like when you've been on one side, it's definitely easier to see other people also on that side with you. But because of how much I share my story, and I share my story every single day in multiple ways, have done for five years now. You know, and this, I've grown an audience of over 350,000 people. You know, I've got massive, massive Facebook group, thousands of people in that. I have anywhere between...

low end 10 upwards to about 50 DMs a day, new ones, right? From survivors speaking out to me because they see my content that's gone viral or they are breaking their silence to me. So I see firsthand accounts of, it's like I'm on the front line, seeing this every single day. People sharing me about when they started to wear masks, how long it took for them to remove them, why they still live in the silence or they've just broken a silence, but now this is what life looks like. Sometimes good, sometimes bad because of family opinions. And hey, you know, you shouldn't be

air in your quote unquote dirty laundry. So it's, it's an answer to your question about seeing people who are wearing masks, even when they've reached out to me, they're still wearing elements of a mask. And it's a lot easier to see what fragments of a mask are left behind and try to help them to peel those off.

Dr Alka Patel (06:34.259)

There's something kind of very, I guess, partly celebratory in what you've said in terms of you championing the storytelling and the unveiling of the mask and breaking of the silence, but at the same time, there's something deeply saddening to just hear you with those numbers, you know, 50 people every day reaching out to you. And there's something so untold in this covert, hidden world, isn't there?

What is it about you that you feel is enabling people to reach out?

Perry Power (07:09.706)

I think one, because I'm a man, two, because I've got a baby face, so that helps. And I think the main reason is because of how I carry myself and how I tell my story. I don't share my story from a place of pain. There's no pain. I share my story from a place of empowerment and I come at it from quite a motivational, inspirational sort of angle when I share my story, which allows people to...

hear my story, but then they don't feel sympathetic. You know, they feel empathetic and they feel inspired to then, hey, okay, if we can do it, so can I too. And because of the, like everything in life, consistency then creates a compound effect. You know, and I've just been consistent with it so long that I've made it impossible for people to ignore it.

Dr Alka Patel (08:02.695)

there must have been a pain at some point when that realization initially hit, that innocence of your childhood and not really knowing what this was and thinking it was love and attention and that moment, that realization hit that this wasn't that at all. I mean, what were the painful parts for you?

Perry Power (08:19.85)

Yeah, the painful parts was when I was living in silence, for sure, many, many elements of that. And then it all sort of came to a front when, June the 1st, 2017, my dad, who had become an alcoholic, he had high blood pressure, he had diabetes, he then, an ambulance gets called to the family home and the paramedics came around and they said, right, we just need to take him to the hospital to even out his blood levels. So was that okay, cool, no problem. And then he didn't make it to the hospital, he had a heart attack in the back of the van.

Dr Alka Patel (08:23.324)

Yeah.

Perry Power (08:49.322)

and he was 48 years old. And I only found out when, so I broke my silence in three different ways. The first time was about six or so months after that, I broke my silence to my girlfriend at the time. And I told her, then a few months later, at like a business mastermind event type of thing, there was about seven or eight people there, I broke my silence to these guys there. And then driving home, I was like, right, I really now need to get this off my chest in a big way.

But I don't want to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry. I just want to say it once and it's out there. So I did a video and put it on Facebook. And then at the time, for my audience at the time, that went viral. And I then go to my auntie's house, who's my dad's sister. And she says to me, we watched your video. I said, okay. She goes, you know, you weren't the only one who was abused. I said, who? She said, it was you, it was your cousin, it was me and it was your dad. And that's when I realized, okay. You know, okay. I understand now with my dad, why my dad told me to keep it a-

keep it a secret. Why he told me to watch the spotlight movie was which was about childhood abuse and covering it up is why he then became an alcoholic and he lived and died in silence and me figuring that out that was the beginning of 2018 that's when the purpose locked in. I'm like right Perry you're going to help people not go down the same road.

Dr Alka Patel (10:07.183)

So you've unveiled something super important there which is the generational trauma and that gets hidden and that doesn't get talked about either as well. Do you know anything about your grandfather?

Perry Power (10:18.254)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So he, so one of the reasons, have you seen the spotlight film? Yeah. So at the end of that film, they show up a list of areas around the world where there've also been reportings of child molestation in Catholic churches and boarding schools. One of them is Cork Island. And I was pointed out, I ended up meeting up my second granddad's daughters when I released my book, because then they went into the media, then they-

Dr Alka Patel (10:25.149)

Yeah, yeah, about the churches, yeah, and priests.

Perry Power (10:47.182)

caught my story in the media reached out to me, never spoken to him before, and I ended up finding out that he abused all of his kids too, and find out that my step-granddad and his brother were put into a Catholic boarding school in Corkin Island and was raped and molested by all the priests. And that school with all the reportings that came out was part of the reportings that the Spotlight team investigated.

Dr Alka Patel (11:13.364)

Wow, so, do you know, just listening to you, I mean, that adds even more gravitas to what you've done, because what you've done is you've gone, stop this generational, yeah, it stops here. Wow. What was the catalyst? Because there'll be people listening who, you know, going to resonate with what you're saying, but still don't feel that level of empowerment.

Perry Power (11:22.626)

Hmm. It ends with me. Hmm.

Dr Alka Patel (11:39.747)

safety, ability to do what you've done at the level that you've done or even at a smaller level but what for you was the catalyst why when you broke your silence did you do that?

Perry Power (11:54.391)

Um, as in why I broke my silence to begin with.

Dr Alka Patel (11:57.483)

Yeah, like, you know, just going back to that moment, like those words that came out, what was the trigger behind doing that when you did it?

Perry Power (12:06.978)

So I think it was...

Perry Power (12:13.154)

You know, if you read the book, Body Keeps the Score, you find out that trauma takes effect of your body beneath the surface, right, until something pops. And I think it was nearing the popping stage. And what that pop was, I was at home on YouTube and Louis Howes had just brought out his book, Mask of Masculinity. And he was on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. And she says to him, well, why'd you write the book? And he was like, because I was sexually abused as a kid and I grew up wearing masks. And when you said that,

it articulated to me what it was that I had been doing. That character that I created when I moved to Bracknell was actually a series of masks that I had made a decision to start applying to my face, right? And when I realized that, you know, I've been many years and I think it's just part of my character and part of life, if there's a problem, if I'm aware that there's a problem, I can't sleep until I've corrected that problem, right? I can't just push it off. So when I found that out, I was like, okay, what do I do to start now start taking these masks off?

I can't sit here and be aware that I'm wearing these masks and continue doing it. So I went then I waited for my girlfriend to come back and I was like, okay, you're just gonna have to take her out for a walk with your dog and just tell her. That's the only way that I visualized taking my mask off is just tell her. Now I went out for a walk with her. I don't remember a single word that I told her. Renee Brown says that vulnerability is like standing butt naked in public and everyone staring at you. That's exactly how I felt when I was with her. You know, I felt like I was naked. I was cold, all the hairs, my body was standing up. And I just said,

something which ended up being that's what it was. Luckily she welcomed me with open arms right and uh but now part of my messaging is when you're living in silence when it comes to breaking the silence don't do what I done because I was lucky right you don't go out and tell somebody about what happened what you need to do is break the silence to yourself first in as many different ways as possible and then once you've done it in a series of different ways then you go out and tell someone else.

Because instead of telling somebody on step one, right, you're gonna, in a large way, you're seeking validation from that person. You're seeking approval. You just are, we're human beings. But if you break the silence yourself first as many different ways as possible, then on step number 10, 12, 13, 15, then you tell someone else, that part of you that's seeking validation is gonna be a lot smaller because now you're sitting in a place of power because you believe you, you trust you, right? And you're just doing it because you feel like you want to, right?

Perry Power (14:38.696)

So that's what I tell people to not to do.

Dr Alka Patel (14:40.443)

Yeah, gosh, that is super, super powerful because that act of telling somebody else out loud takes a huge amount of courage and bravado because you have no idea what that result is going to result in at all. And for you, as you say, it went in a very positive way. But for many, many people, and I'm sure, you know, people are reaching out to you have shared this, it doesn't go that way. It adds to the shame. It adds to the guilt. And so there's got to be a way of that having some armor around that.

Perry Power (14:52.768)

Mm-hmm.

Dr Alka Patel (15:09.515)

before you share, but once you do share in exactly the way that you have, your own vulnerability becomes somebody else's courage, isn't it, which is incredible. So give us a little bit of how, I mean, when you say, share it with yourself first, break your silence to yourself, what does that really mean?

Perry Power (15:32.238)

The good thing about this is that there is an abundant amount of ways. You can journal, you can write a poem, you can choreograph a dance piece, you could say it in front of a mirror and add words to it, right? You could... Then you have strange ones, but they still work. You could go to pottery class and you could make a cup whilst feeling that part of you and allowing those emotions...

to flow through to the cup that you're molding, for example, because then at the end of it, you have a tangible, right? You have a representation of what your story is. So like I have outside of, it's still in the umbrella of helping survivors, but I also run a business and it's a publishing company. So we work with trauma survivors to help them write and publish their own book. And that's also a way that they break the silence to themselves, you know, is they spend three to six months writing a book. And at the end of it, what have they got? They got a book in their hands. And that is representation of them being a warrior.

right of the battles that they fought and the person who they are today. So there's so many different ways you, you know, you can write a song. There's so many different things that you can do. All that, all it is just finding a way to express because verbally it's just one form of expression, just finding a way to express, do it over and over and over again until you at a point where you're like, okay, you know, if my mom or my dad rejects me, that's unfortunate. And I really hope that I don't let that do is their loss.

You know, that type of attitude, trying to get to that as much as possible.

Dr Alka Patel (17:02.587)

No, fantastic. And I'm glad you touched on expression as being just fundamental because you're right. We do think about expression in a very logical way. What we say, what we're going to say, how we're going to say it, how it's going to be received. But there's this whole creative part of expression, movement, what you're making with your hands, what you're transferring from mic to hand to paper. This is all that very, very creative way of expressing. And I've heard it said many times that depression

Perry Power (17:23.359)

Yeah.

Dr Alka Patel (17:31.919)

is lack of expression. And the reason, you know, that your emotions are affected is when you cannot express that inner identity, that inner emotion. And so sharing different ways of doing that is very, very powerful because people don't often think of expressing in that way at all. We think of communication as being fully verbal, but it doesn't. Which is incredible. So, wow. So you're talking a lot about your story.

Perry Power (17:52.343)

Absolutely.

Dr Alka Patel (18:02.203)

I'd love to hear more about your publishing, publishing house, because this is again, you know, incredible, very specific way of helping people to, to express as well. So maybe people listening are wanting to do that, but pen to paper, how do they, how do they even do that? How do you stop?

Perry Power (18:14.734)

Hmm. Yeah, it's interesting that quick context, the reason why I launched the publishing company is because when I looked at the big vision of what I want to do and where I want to be is I want to have a big production company called Powerful Pictures. And what we do is we only make true story films. That's it. You know, you go into a cinema, you're like, okay, I know what I'm in store for. I'm in store for an inspiring true story. You then walk away inspired to take action in your own life.

in whatever way that is. And that's what I wanna do. And now to get there, I said, okay, what's the best way to get these true stories? Then that sparked the idea of Powerful Books, which is a publishing company helping to help survivors write, turn their story into a book. And each book is gonna be a true story. And then eventually we just take each book and turn that into a movie. That's the vision and that's the path in front of me. Now in regards to survivors, it's crazy in a good way.

how many survivors want to write a book? You know, we have, there's about 4,600 people that join my Facebook, like in my Facebook group at the moment. And when they join, they've got to answer three questions. Where are they currently at in their life? Have they ever thought about writing a book? And 99% of people say yes to writing a book. And, but obviously they haven't done it yet, right? Because the idea of writing their stories is like, whoa, you know? And what I find a lot of the times is,

Even if they pluck up the courage to start writing, they end up stopping because they just, they scratch the itch of just getting out into paper and word vomiting, but then they don't know where to go from there. So I ended up creating this called the Powerful Story Framework. And it's essentially a framework that people go through where it's like, right, the book that you wanna write, just park that to one side, just forget about it. It doesn't exist right now. Okay, that'll come later on. First, we need to go through three main pillars. We're gonna go through your story. We're gonna have a look at everything. We're gonna have it unravel.

Dr Alka Patel (19:53.836)

Yeah.

Perry Power (20:12.578)

from a bird's eye view, then we're gonna go into message. What's the message that you wanna share with the world? What's the message that you wanna get across in this book? What's the book structure? What's all the parts? What's all the chapters? What's the message of each chapter? Now let's start writing draft one. Now you have a plan to follow, right? So then they start doing that and throughout the whole process, the best part of what we do is we're more than, I say publishing company, cause it's ease of conversation, but it's more of a coaching program. You know, as we run, we got weekly calls, two calls a week, every two weeks. So,

We've got two support calls a week. And then every two weeks we have like a live workshop, trauma healers, therapists, counselors, barristers, personal development mindset, inner child healing. They all come in and do a live workshop for all the guys in there. So it's also a healing program to help them become the best version of themselves whilst they're writing a book.

Dr Alka Patel (21:00.307)

So gosh, that's a sort of much deeper level than as you say, pen to paper. And I think you're absolutely right. There was a story in everybody because life is your story. Life is your own stage. And people don't often know how to tap into that or even think that they've got a meaningful message to share with the world. And I know you kind of went out and did a TEDx talk as well. I've got your message out to the world and you're getting it out in, you know, in as many ways and on as many platforms as.

as possible, but it's great that you're giving that guidance for that story sharing because ultimately it's emotion that evokes people. It's emotion that evokes people to take action in their own lives as well, isn't it? What about happy stories? We're talking obviously about trauma a lot. Is that the key focus for your approach and for your publishing house? Because there's a lot of people's...

Positive stories that also don't get put on pen to paper as well. What do you think about that? We do hear a lot of Negative stuff don't we've only got a turn on TV listen to the news It's all and it just creates this heaviness to life. There's a lot of beauty in the world as well

Perry Power (22:06.718)

Mm.

Perry Power (22:12.906)

Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely. There is a lot of beauty in your world. There's a lot of happy stories and what I made sure to put a strong emphasis on, like there's a lot of people out there which we need who are creating a lot of awareness around abuse. And, you know, they're the campaigners, they're the activists and we need them, but they're very heavy, right? They're very, very heavy. And I really, really did not want to be one of those heavy hitters. I wanted to be someone who's like, right.

Here's a, yeah, it's a shit story here, okay? But there's an inspiring end, okay? So let's get through this dark path, which is what they went through. Like for example, yesterday, one of our clients, Bonnie, she launched her book. Crazy story, right? Her dad used her, everything you can ever possibly imagine and sold her as a prostitute in the back of his car outside of a bar, right? That was her upbringing. Heavy story, okay? But then when you look at who she is now, you're like, wow, I need to meet this person.

Dr Alka Patel (22:48.391)

Right. Yeah.

Perry Power (23:12.978)

inspiring. You know, I didn't go, I went through sexual abuse, but I didn't go through the same type of abuse as her. Now I don't compare myself to her and be like, oh, okay, my story is not as good as hers or anything like that. I'm still like, you know, we go, when we watch movies, we're always inspired by that main character, right? And it's the same type of thing. And I just think is how you do it and it's how you wrap it up at the end to inspire people to take action rather than leaving them depleted and be like, God, you know.

Dr Alka Patel (23:39.727)

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that is the key thing, isn't it? It's that, it's that motivation, it's that inspiration, and it's also the mechanisms giving people the sort of the how, the what, the why through all of that, as well, and making it important as well. So, wow, amazing, amazing work. I love, you know, again, pain for so many people does become the thing that's so transformative, and eventually becomes that.

Perry Power (23:49.57)

Mm-hmm.

Perry Power (23:53.326)

is to how is to what.

Dr Alka Patel (24:08.859)

that passion, that ignition for their life and to touch so many other people's lives as well, just exactly the way that you're doing as well. And you're also doing quite a lot of work with charities as well, aren't you? Tell me about, is it we together that you're working alongside?

Perry Power (24:23.762)

Yeah, so there's two charities. I have a charity in America and we give free mental health care to child survivors of sexual abuse. And we actually at the moment, doing a transition of bringing it over to the UK. So that's something that we're working on. And then we have a UK charity, We Together. And what we're doing at the moment is we're building out a tool. It's like a database that allows victims and survivors to anonymously self-report what happened to them. And the purpose of this is two.

One is to empower them, like, hey, type in your story. You don't need to give away your identity. If a case happens and you obviously need to be contacted, but it's not like we put in your blast from the get-go. So let's put in your story, and then it goes into the database. And then with AI, if there's similarities in people's stories, because a lot of time when an abuser abuses, it's not just one person. And if we can, then the AI would then create a cluster of people's similar stories, and then that gets automatically sent to the

to the police and then you have to look into it. So then the goal is to aid in increasing prosecution rates because there's not just one voice, there's now a cluster of voices against that one person. Yeah.

Dr Alka Patel (25:36.855)

Yeah. So again, you're, you know, you're raising something super, super important is that a lot of people also part of the reason they don't say anything that they don't break their silence is because they think, well, nothing's going to happen anyway. No one's going to listen to me. No one's going to believe me. A perpetrator. Well, you know, they're wearing armor. Nothing's going to happen to them. And here you are using kind of, you know, the time that we're living in AI is literally everywhere, isn't it? And you're able to use that level of technology to, to do something that

Has it previously been possible?

Perry Power (26:08.266)

Yeah, you know, exactly. And that's, that's the plan. I mean, we, we still in the building phase for it. We're currently in the phase of fundraising. So that's where we are. We're a couple of years into the charity and we have, you know, strong board of trustees and, and we're, the goal is to try and get into the police and have their system plugged into the police. And, you know, we're currently going through houses of parliament at the moment. So we're making some good traction.

Which is great. But yeah, it's too, there's a lot of times when people do speak up, nothing happens, unfortunately. Which is why I'm like, okay, well, let's in one breath, try to make something happen in our system, in law. But at the same time, let me try and help survivors to not put all of their worth on the actions of someone else because that's outside of their control. How can they get justice from within?

How can they feel content from within? Because that is within their control. So I try to help both angles.

Dr Alka Patel (27:08.995)

Yeah. Oh, no. And again, you know, brilliant, brilliant approach. It's a very therapeutic approach as well, which is zoning in on where is your gift of control? What is it that you're going to be able to affect? And as you say, in terms of even breaking the silence, break it to yourself. It's back to what can you change your own kind of perception and approach as well? And so what about you? I mean, you've certainly got a very strong.

Perry Power (27:29.399)

Exactly.

Dr Alka Patel (27:37.159)

headset, mindset, what do you do to, in your terms of your own health, and both physical and emotional, to kind of keep that level of strength that I'm seeing today.

Perry Power (27:49.554)

I always struggle to answer that question whenever I get asked. Uh, because I don't, I, I don't, and I still haven't gotten the answer. You know, I go to the gym, I don't feel like I need a therapist or someone to, I don't get down from these stories. I, I

I think part of me has a healthy disconnect from these messages and from these stories and a disconnect being I see it and it moves me to take action but then that's where the disconnect happens because if there isn't then it can seep into messing me up for the day because now the world has just gone to pots and you know it's doom and gloom. Whenever I read these stories I'm I have a very addictive personality in regards to when I set my eyes on something I have to do it.

and I don't see any obstacles in my way. Part of that is daddy issues because my dad didn't allow me, he didn't give me freedom growing up. I couldn't do many things. He didn't want me to be an actor, all these types of things. It caused me to be an adult was like, you know what, F you to the world. I'm gonna do big things. I'm gonna help a lot of people. So that allows me, so that sort of purpose-driven part of me allows me to push through on a daily basis all hours of the day because I'm like, there still needs to be more.

There needs to be more done. There needs to be more done, you know, and seeing these people's messages from a response of what I do enables me to move forward. And for me, that is my fuel in the tank.

Dr Alka Patel (29:10.416)

Mm.

Dr Alka Patel (29:16.263)

Yeah, yeah. And I'm glad you're kind of saying this for yourself because it's not a sort of negative disassociation. It's not an I don't care about you disassociation. It's a very important one. And you know, as doctors, we need to do this as well. There's empathy, there's compassion, there's health, there's healing, but there is also a level of self protection. If I can, if I want to do this for as long as possible, I also need to make sure that I'm in my best place to be able to serve you as well, which is

Perry Power (29:23.658)

No.

Dr Alka Patel (29:44.959)

exactly what you're doing. What do you sacrifice in the way, because I'm hearing your passion, I'm hearing your drive, I'm hearing your, you know, once I want something, I'm on it. What do you give up in return for doing that?

Perry Power (30:03.61)

I don't feel like I sacrifice anything. I think if I want One could look if they if there was a fly on the wall and I saw what I do on a day to day Because I literally wake up work until I go to sleep if I'm not with my girlfriend if I'm not with my girlfriend And then that's I say to my girlfriend's like whenever I stop working. It's like Somebody walking into a room and the kids playing Xbox and you're like right son It's time to turn off the Xbox now, you know, and you know, oh, no, come on. I want to carry on playing

That's how I feel about what I do. Luckily, you know, I'm very blessed. I hate not working because I just love it so much. And when I'm with my girlfriend, I make sure I have a stop point most of the time, unless there's burning work with the charity or with the business or whatever, then I ask permission, do you mind if I work tonight? Because that's a good thing to do in a relationship, right? But most of the time I have a stop off point of about seven to 8 p.m. Then those evenings I spend with her. When I'm not with her,

work from the morning all the way through to the evening. So if there's a fly in the wall people are like, oh he's sacrificing his time. He doesn't have any time to himself. But I think for me that is my time. You know that is I'd rather do I could easily game or do you know I go to the gym I go to the cinema those are my things but outside of that I just work.

Dr Alka Patel (31:21.511)

Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting, isn't it? I think describing work or career or passion or mission. And it doesn't sound like this fits under a work category, even though it is perhaps, you know, from, you know, it's giving you finances and income and direction, but it sounds as if it's purpose driven. There's a mission and this is your mission. Do you sleep? Do you sleep well? Do you sleep enough?

Perry Power (31:42.478)

Absolutely.

Perry Power (31:46.11)

I sleep like a baby. I see, as soon as my head goes onto the pillow, within two, my gelfers says, you're so lucky. If you put on a timer, it wouldn't go past 30 seconds and I'm asleep every time. And I sleep all the way through. So yeah.

Dr Alka Patel (31:56.535)

Yeah, okay. Good. That's giving me a big sense of relief because I know a lot of people who are driven by their passion, by their mission, and the sacrifice that happens is, oh, I'll just do this extra thing. I don't feel like I need to sleep now. And before you know it, you're only getting three, four, five hours sleep a night. And of course, for your own physiology, that is never gonna be enough and you don't get the quality. But sounds like you're on an opposite thing, so. Yeah, yeah, great, amazing, amazing.

Perry Power (32:18.634)

Yeah, between six to eight hours I get. Yeah.

Dr Alka Patel (32:24.531)

So I guess we should wrap up, we could carry on talking. Happiness, health in the world, what do you think needs to happen for the world to be happier and healthier? Because I think it can be much happier and healthier than it is right now. What would you say needs to happen?

Perry Power (32:47.118)

I think it's interesting. I met up with a therapist yesterday and she was saying that in one of her trades of work There's only 200 therapists in the UK that train in it and she was saying to me how there needs to be a lot more therapists and a lot more mental health support workers and frontliners, so That's one thing that needs to happen which means but there's a deeper meaning behind that right which means that mental health and Needs to be taken more seriously in this country

I think and I think that in regards to healthier, I think a lot more people need to see them in a half as a priority, but then also break the silence. You know, I did a, I did a speaker at a business conference in Brighton last month. I think it was 300 people there and I went on stage. Everyone's talking about business, but I went on stage. I talked about abuse and I looked out at everyone. I said, listen,

Not everyone here has to have been abused, but everyone here knows what it's like to live in silence. And I will guarantee that. You have your own thing, right, that you've lived in silence about. Whatever it is. So you can relate to it to some degree, right? And I'm telling you right now that whatever that is, is doing something to your internal being. And whether you see that now or in 10 years time, you will at some point. So I feel like if everybody can confront their own demons, because everyone's got them, right, to some extent.

then I feel like in the short term, it's very, very difficult, very, very painful, but in the long term, that's what leads to a healthier and happier life. And I truly believe that because that allowed you to be your authentic self. How can you be your authentic self if you live in a silence about something?

Dr Alka Patel (34:26.903)

Yeah, yeah, powerful, powerful stuff. Perry power, I'm sure you hear this, all the time. Break the silence and express back to what you were saying earlier is allow yourself to have a way of expressing that fits you, that works for you, that allows you to be original and unique and authentic and you and tap into your own identity because we are all individual, there's nothing.

Perry Power (34:32.881)

What can I say?

Dr Alka Patel (34:54.479)

the same about any of our DNA and yet we've all got things that connect us like you said everyone will have experienced being silent and so we can all experience breaking up that silence as well. Thank you Perry I don't want to stop the conversation but we must it's been incredibly warming speaking to you I feel your passion I feel your energy behind this I feel the inspiration.

Perry Power (35:06.702)

Absolutely.

Dr Alka Patel (35:22.083)

and the motivation and I love that you haven't taken us to a place of heaviness but actually a place of lightness and uplift and I know that there will be people listening who will do exactly what you said today which is break a silence that they haven't been able to before so we really appreciate you doing what you do.

Perry Power (35:39.654)

I appreciate you having me on. I'm glad that you mentioned that in regards to, I didn't bring you down, but rather I raised you up. That's the whole point of it. You know? So, that's great.

Dr Alka Patel (35:46.563)

Yeah, yeah, amazing. Thank you.

Perry Power (35:49.582)

Thank you. Appreciate it.